Hannity says US should stand with Putin

Putin fan and part-time
contractor, Sean Hannity

by Dallas J. Delta

NEW YORK - Conservative commentator Sean Hannity said this afternoon that he believed that the United States should accept the outcome of today's referendum in the Crimea and that it was his belief that Russian President Vladimir Putin was within his rights to annex the former Ukrainian province.

"It really comes down to one thing," said Hannity, speaking to a group of customers in line behind him at Lowe's.  "Barack Hussein Obama is wrong about everything.  What makes you think he is right about this?"

Hannity, who was at Lowe's picking up a case of caulk when he heard about the outcome of the vote in Crimea, said that he felt that since President Obama lied so much during the health care debate, and failed to protect the American consulate in Benghazi, that he had come to the conclusion that Putin must be the one Americans should trust.

Crimeans voted over 90% today to secede from Ukraine and join Russia, and Hannity said that he had a hard time disagreeing with anyone who would vote in those kinds of numbers opposite of the way President Obama wished.

"I just wish we could get the Senate to do that," he said, wistfully.  "Obama is making all this noise about how we should stand with the government in Kiev, and how he is going to help rebuild the Ukrainian economy...how about he fix the one he was elected to fix first?"

"Obama is running around, trying to act tough, like a kid with a bloody lip on the playground whose friends have stopped the fight," said Hannity.  "Barry H. knows he's not going to do anything but talk, but he is going to talk his ass off, you can be sure of that.  The Russians know he's all talk.  We know he's all talk.  Sanctions?  Yeah, I'm sure Putin is shaking in his boots.  The Poles and Swedes should be the ones shaking.  Don't Russian despots always go to war with Sweden and partition Poland after they finish annexing Crimea?  Obama has no idea who he is dealing with, and Putin has my full support."

Hannity scoffed at Obama's attempts to resolve the situation diplomatically.  "He (President Obama) gets the '2014 Neville Chamberlain Award for Vacillation in the Face of Aggression,' he said, adding, "it has been kind of funny watching John Kerry chase his tail and try to sound important."